The Emotional Roller Coaster of Writing a Novel

From excitement and self-doubt to relief, fear and finally letting go, every novel takes me on an emotional journey.

People often imagine that writing a novel is a wonderfully glamorous occupation. You dream up a story, write it down and, several months later, send it off to be published.

If only it were that simple!

For me, writing every crime novel – whether it's a DI Andy Horton mystery, an Inspector Ryga historical mystery or an Art Marvik thriller – is an emotional roller coaster. And after writing thirty-one novels, I can honestly say those emotions haven't changed.

Excitement: The Adventure Begins

Every novel starts with excitement.

Perhaps I've discovered an intriguing location while out walking along the coast. Perhaps I've come across a fascinating historical fact, or simply asked myself, "What if...?"

I might have the victim, the setting and the opening chapter taking shape in my mind, but little else.

At this stage, the possibilities seem endless, and I can't wait to begin writing.

Frustration: Turning Ideas into Words

Then reality arrives.

I know there's a story in my head, but getting it onto the page is another matter entirely.

There are days when I wish I could simply transfer the novel directly from my imagination onto the computer screen.

Unfortunately, writing doesn't work like that.

As I write, I plot, research and constantly ask questions. New discoveries often change the direction of the story, which is exciting but can also be frustrating when the carefully planned route suddenly disappears!

Relief... Then Doubt

After around three months I've usually written between 80,000 and 100,000 words.

Finishing that first draft is a wonderful feeling.

Relief floods in.

The story finally exists.

But that feeling doesn't last long.

Now comes the hard work of revision.

As I reshape the novel, strengthen the clues, develop the characters and tighten the plot, another emotion begins to creep in.

Doubt.

Is it good enough?

Could I improve this chapter?

Should I rewrite that scene?

Perhaps the whole novel?

The closer I get to the manuscript, the harder it becomes to judge it objectively.

I've discovered that doubt isn't a sign you're failing.

It's simply part of being a writer.

The Hardest Moment of All

People often think the most difficult part is writing the book.

For me, it isn't. The hardest moment comes when I send the manuscript to my editor.

I've revised it.

Polished it.

Changed everything I can think of changing.

Now I have to let someone else read it.

That's when the fear arrives.

Closely followed by hope.

I hope they'll love it.

And anxiety.

What if they don't?

After thirty-one novels, it still feels like stepping into the unknown.

Letting Go

People also imagine that finishing a novel must be the happiest moment.

It certainly brings satisfaction.

But it can also feel surprisingly sad.

You've spent months—sometimes years—living alongside those characters.

They've become part of your everyday life.

Then suddenly they're gone.

Many writers experience a genuine sense of anti-climax once a book is finished.

My solution is simple.

I never stop writing. By the time one novel is complete, another is already waiting to begin.

One story ends.

Another adventure starts.

Every Novel Is a New Journey

Although every crime novel is different, one thing never changes...

The emotional journey.

From excitement and frustration to doubt, fear, hope and finally letting go, every book takes me through exactly the same stages.

And perhaps that's exactly as it should be.

If I ever stopped caring, I suspect I'd stop writing.

Watch the Video Series

I've turned these reflections into a four-part series of YouTube Shorts, where I share the emotional highs and lows of writing a novel.

If you've ever wondered what really goes on behind the scenes before a book reaches the shelves, I hope you'll enjoy watching them.